Distraction

Dear Guys,

We often hear messages in youth group, at conferences, at camp, etc about modesty. We (girls) are told to be careful about what we wear so that guys can be careful about what they see and think. We hear things like keep your shorts to this length, shirts are to be high up, pants and shirts not too tight, but not too loose. I haven't heard one message about making sure guys help girls out by dressing modest themselves.

Girls are told that guys are more visual; therefore, we must dress so that they look at our countenance and not our body. I would like to let the guys in on a secret. Girls are visual also. We just don't tend to obsess over it as much as guys. Girls do in fact, notice a handsome or cute guy. Girls notice what guys are wearing and where they are wearing it. Girls can get distracted by what a guy wears, how he wears something, and the way he looks, just as much as a guy noticing a girl when she walks past and he "checks her out". I know that girls' thoughts do not tend to go as in depth as guys' do; however, I do know that lusting after a person or having thoughts that are not pure are a sin regardless of how much you dwell on it or how detailed you get in your thoughts. Guys do struggle more with their thought life and what they see and how that affects their thought life. This is why preaching is so often about keeping thoughts pure for guys, and the girls are taught about dressing modestly. But, this is a letter to you guys out there. I want you to know what is tempting for me, so that perhaps, you can come away after reading this with better knowledge of what goes through a girl's mind when she sees someone attractive to her.  Guys, just as we try to dress to give you as little temptation as possible, I am challenging you to dress so we are not tempted either.

Summer time. The time of tanks, trunks, shorts, and no shirts. Girls are attracted to a guy that looks like he works out at the gym. That's no secret really, but when you wear tanks or cut off t-shirts and we can see straight through the shirt, that's distracting. We are encouraged not to wear see-through shirts so that you cannot see our bras. I find a tank that is so loose you see under it or through it is extremely distracting on a guy just as distracting as I am sure it is for you to see us not fully clothed.

No shirts is a big thing for me. It may not seem like a big thing, but just as guys are going to notice a girl in a bikini, girls notice when guys don't wear shirts. It might be nice to work without a shirt, or it's hot when you are mowing lawns or landscaping so just taking off the shirt is nice. It also allows a perfect opportunity for you to get a tan, but really guys, please do us a favor, and keep a shirt on. This will help our thought life a lot. When you walk past a magazine that has a scantily clad woman on the cover, it is hard for you to think of much else. This is the same thing when we walk past a guy that has foregone a shirt.

Pants. I'm not sure why this is the case in our culture, but it is cool for a guy to wear low riding pants. All I ask is that your pants stay up. Seriously. That is why someone made a belt. That's the purpose of it after all. Yes, they look cool, but they also serve a purpose. It's not tempting necessarily for us when you don't keep your pants on your hips, but it is distracting, and it is also uncomfortable for us. With that in mind, keeping your shirt long enough to be tucked in, so we don't see your boxers when you lean over would be nice also. We endeavor to keep our lower backs covered, so you aren't tempted. Please help us by doing the same.

Pictures. Did you know that when men see women in bikinis, we turn from a "she" to an "it". We are no longer a person to treasure but a possession to be owned. Your minds do a switch. This has been researched by both Christian and non-Christian scientist, it's true. You might admit this, you might not. Consequently when girls post pictures Facebook titled, "Day at the Beach" or "Our Family Vacation in Hawaii" or "The Best Days of Our Lives", you automatically know that there are going to be girls in some type or form of swimsuit. And your mind most likely go to a spot that should not be visited until you are married. I have a confession to make. When I see a guy without his shirt, and he is at the beach in his trunks, my mind does not immediately go, "Wow. Pretty sand, stunning sky, and what clear, blue water." No, rather it goes, "Wow, he looks really good without his shirt on. Or hm, he's awful nice to look at that." It's hard to keep our thoughts on the beach or the faces in the picture. So I ask you to think about what pictures you put up on Facebook, so that when I am innocently scrolling through my feed, I am not hit with a million pictures of guys without shirts. Now, this does not affect me in the same way a guy sees a girl who is inappropriately dressed. Our thoughts are not on the same route perhaps, but they are still on the same impure road. They still affect me in a way that is not godly. It is also my duty to make sure I end those thoughts by bringing something good and pure to mind as Scripture commands us to do.

Please guys, help us just as we try to help you. Keep in mind what you are wearing, so we won't be distracted by what you are wearing. Thank you!

A grateful girl,
Sarah